Life is weird.

I have always said that the most awkward feeling is seeing someone you used to be good friends with, but haven't talked to in a long time so your conversation is very superficial and surface-level. For example, you see an old friend in the mall over Christmas whose house you used to hang out at all the time, but now you are reduced to, "So, are you excited about graduation? How's club? Is Sing Song going to be good?"

I discovered today that there is only one thing more awkward than the situation mentioned - spending time with an ex-boyfriend that has now been reduced to the same level of superficial-ness. Today was COBA Senior Blessing, a day when the professors take all of the seniors to a retreat center in Merkel, TX and have a last-ditch effort to impart some wisdom on us and hang out with us and then give us a blessing at the end of the day. It was really great except that Chase was there. At first, I was really excited to see him, we haven't really talked much in the past couple of years and I was looking forward to possibly catching up. Yes, I am that naive. It was even neat when he got up to read a scripture and I noticed he was using the Bible I bought him for his 18th birthday. But when I finally got a chance to talk to him, we had nothing to say. It was an awful feeling standing next to someone that used to be such an integral part of my life for quite a significant amount of time, but yet, feeling like he was a total stranger. I wish it wasn't like that, but I guess that is just how things happen. I now understand why some people make such pain-staking efforts to avoid their exes when in familiar places (you know who you are!). Maybe I should just do the same.