Thursday, April 27, 2006

A Letter to My Love

My Dearest McDonalds,

It is with great regret and deepest sorrow that I write you this letter. I feel the time has come for us to go our separate ways. We’ve had some great times over the past few years, but this is just something that I have to do.

I know what you’re thinking – there’s another restaurant. And I promise you, I am not just running into the booths of another burger provider. I know we had the whole Whataburger incident last year, but I told you then, and I’ll tell you again, it meant nothing. It was just lunchtime and you were too busy for me. I had to get food somewhere! But it is your chicken nuggets that I crave; no one else’s can come close!

You say you can change, and I know that you’re not lying. But its not you, it’s me. You have tried your best to offer me grilled chicken sandwiches, asian salads, and other healthy options, but as long as you have those delicious fries on your menu, I will always just fall back into my old habits and we both know its not good for either one of us. I can’t live in this kind of codependent relationship anymore. The best thing for me right now is to make a clean break. Pretend we never met. Believe me, this is harder on me than it is on you. You will find other college girls to share your golden arches with, but me; this is then end of my fast food excursions. I’ll always look back on our times together with fondness, and I hope you’ll think of me in the same way. I wish you the best of luck in the future.

With love,
Emily

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE! I WILL SEDUCE YOU AGAIN! MY GREASY GOLDENESS WILL CALL OUT TO YOU IN YOUR DREAMS! YOU WILL BE BACK AND I WILL GET YOUR MONEY! YOU COMPLETE ME!YOU WILL BE BACK!YOU WILL BE BACK!

Ronald M.

Anonymous said...

"I am not just running into the booths of another burger provider"

"But it is your chicken nuggets that I crave; no one else’s can come close!"

Absolutely the funniest thing I've ever read. You're brilliant!

Brandon K

Lindsey said...

HA! Great stuff. I need to send ronald a letter myself, I haven't left him yet.

Maggie said...

too funny- i did not know you LOVED MC D's

Honey Mommy said...

That is so funny!
I know exactly what you mean! I have been avoiding fast food restaurants because the unhealthy choices are so much more appealing than their "healthy" ones!

Preston said...

How funny! Good bye Micky D's you greasy old bugger you! LOL You go girl. Have you ever tried Chik Fila? I know I'm spelling it wrong but it's about the healthiest fast food out there!

hellosweetworld said...

Somehow McD's always reels you in, no matter what.....good luck!

Mamarazzi said...

H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!

i clicked on you over at SITS because of the whole McDonald's thing and giiiiiiiirl this letter is FANTASTIC!!

believe it or not i have NEVER eaten at McDonald's. when i was a little girl the smell would make me gag. sometimes it still does. i just can't do it. My husband would love to eat it but i smell it on hime and ...ew! so he enjoyes McDonalds on business trips and when i am out of town.

do you feel sorry for him!?

and have you remained true to your letter? just curious.

Julie said...

Oh that's hilarious! I need to print that out and tape it on my dashboard...it needs to be my mantra from now on!

ElleBee said...

How funny! Every time I think "I can never eat at McDonald's again", it's always the fries that get me back! Happy SITS Friday!

Carrie said...

*snort* The Whataburger incident *snort*

And then the comment from Ronald McDonald?? I think I just peed a little...

Amanda K said...

This whole thing is so funny! The letter, the comments... everything!! Way to go and thanks for making me laugh!!

Abounader Photography said...

HILARIOUS!!! I should write a letter like that to carbs.. and fat.. and sugar.. (OH GAWD SUGAR!)..hehehe

Lynette said...

Hello fellow SITS-er. Enjoyed your Dear Letter. I am right there with you on that. It helped that I moved to a town without a McDonalds. Yes they are out there. I have to drive 37 miles to get to my dear McNuggets. It has stopped me. I may get to see those lovely arches only once a year. Honest. I am such a home body.
Come visit me at:
http://theysayimnuts.blogspot.com/2008/11/dear-crazy-friends.html

ella said...

We like what we like. I hope you can kick the arches. I know I can't! The Coke just tastes better there and I love that extra big straw...

Jennifer said...

LOL--I don't know what they're putting in th fries at McD's--but it's addictive!!

Veggie Mom said...

I divorced Mickey D's a while ago. Good for you! Hey there, SITSta! Gotta Super-Duper Giveaway that's Goin' On over at my place...please stop by when you have the chance!

Kelsey said...

I just found you from SITS and this was too funny!
I loved it!
I divorced all fast food restaurants about 3 years ago, but I still go back for occasional one night stands every 6 months or so..